How to Respond to Being Left Out | Good Manners

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Hi, I’m Faye Demoishon from Social Skills. Here to teach you how to handle being left out. So, it’s important to take a look at the big picture of things before you address how to handle this really difficult topic. And look at the bigger picture. If it’s kind of small case scenario you might not want to verbalize it and bring it to the attention of people, but if you are in a situation where your feelings of being left out are overwhelming or it’s happening on a regular basis, there is a way of managing those feelings and of expressing yourself.

So, the most important thing is to tell someone how you feel. So, it’s I feel blank when you blank. And feelings are never wrong. So, if you get that person aside do it outside of a group setting, but to get that person aside and to have a conversation I definitely suggest doing this over email, but have a face to face conversation with someone about how it feels when you’re left out of a situation.

So, let’s take for example, you’ve introduced your friend to another friend and now they’re going out all the time and you’re feeling really left out of the situation because it’s a regular thing that they’re going out on their own. You might want to say to your friend, I just wanted to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me a little bit lately. And it’s that I feel really left out when you’re out in the company of our mutual friend and I’m not invited. And I just, I’m feeling like it happens really regularly and I value both of your friendships so much and you both mean a great deal to me that I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest.

Doing it that way you’re expressing your feelings and you’re also including the positive aspects of your friendship. So, sometimes I suggest doing a sandwich technique which is start with a positive. The middle of a sandwich is the difficult stuff and then end with another positive. And that’s how to handle the difficult feelings of being left out.